Blog

Treatment Suggestions for the Self-Punitiveness Schema

1.List the advantages and disadvantages of punishment versus forgiveness.  Notice that punishment is not an effective way to deal with the mistakes of self or others.

2. Have imaginary dialogues between your punitive side and forgiving side when the schema is triggered. Use this exercise to solve problems and manage conflicts.

3. Recognize that the cost of punitiveness is greater than its benefits by listing the costs of being punitive. This awareness can help motivate you to change.

4. Practice more forgiving responses in situations where you have urges to blame yourself or others

Treatment Suggestions for the Vulnerability to Harm or Illness Schema

1.Make a list of your specific fears. Recognize and list the long-term consequence of living a phobic lifestyle, such as the lost opportunities for fun and self-exploration.

2. Recognize and list the positive benefits of moving more freely in the world, such as a richer, fuller life.

3. Increase your control of anxiety with relaxation techniques. Also, recognize times of avoidance.

4.Lower your estimation of the probability of catastrophic events by tracking how often they come true. At the same time use imagery to see times of successfully increasing your capacity to cope.

5. Notice that lowering your estimation of catastrophe helps you to manage anxiety symptoms and panic attacks.

6. Track and list times you use magical rituals and safety signals to face situations you fear. Slowly eliminate these rituals.

7. Use imagery to see future success in handling acceptable levels of risk. Use EMDR as a future projection technique to decrease negative feelings and self-perceptions related to the future event.

Treatment Suggestions for the Unrelenting Standards Schema

1.List the areas in which your standards may be unbalanced or unrelenting.

2.View performance on a long spectrum from “poor to perfect” with many gradations in between. Do this instead of using “all-or-nothing” thinking. With each task, actively choose where you want to fall on this spectrum.

3. Do a “cost-benefit analysis” of the unrelenting standards schema. Ask yourself “If I were to do things a little less well, what would be the costs and benefits of this change?” List the results.

4. List the advantages and disadvantages of the unrelenting standards schema. Consider the benefits to your health and happiness if you lowered your standards. Also, list the disadvantages of the unrelenting standards schema and how it is damaging your enjoyment of life and relationship with others.

5. Recognize that imperfection is not a crime and making mistakes may not have the negative consequences you anticipate.

6. Attempt to do less and do tasks less well. Notice that setting lower standards and intentionally doing tasks imperfectly allows you to interact with friends and family for the sake of enjoyment or to enhance the quality of relationships.

7. Notice how these suggested activities and changes impact how you feel.

8. Allow yourself to not feel guilty when you do not try as hard as usual. Recognize that it is acceptable to permit some imperfection.

 Treatment Suggestions for the Subjugation Schema

1.List everyday situations at home and at work in which you subjugate your own needs to others.

2. Consider if your negative expectations about the consequences of expressing your needs and feelings to others are exaggerated. If they are exaggerated, then express your needs and feelings appropriately.

3. Using imagery and/or writing exercises, express anger and assert your rights with any controlling parent or other authority figure in your childhood.

4. Select relatively non-controlling partners and friends.

5. Learn and use assertive techniques that can help you clarify your needs and express your feelings with others.

6. Identify your natural inclinations and practice acting on them. List them and consider using imagery and role-play as an exercise. After practicing, follow through with your learning in real life situations.

7. List times of childhood subjugation of your thoughts and feelings. Use EMDR to eliminate the negative feelings and self-perceptions related to these memories.

Treatment Suggestions for the Social Isolation and Alienation Schema

1.Consider that you are not as different from other people as you may think. Make a list of qualities you share with all people. Notice that some of the qualities you might regard as unique to you are in fact universal.

2. Track and list the similarities you have with other people. Also list your differences from others. Find and enjoy people who are like you.

3. Recognize the negative thoughts about yourself that might keep you from joining groups and connecting to people.

4 Consider methods of anxiety management that can help you cope with times of social anxiety.

5. Learn social skills training to for successful interpersonal and group interaction.

6. Gradually spend more and more time with people. Try to initiate conversations and use social skills techniques and anxiety reduction to make this process easier.

7. List group situations that you avoid. Rank them in terms of how difficult they are to manage. Involve yourself in group settings starting with the least difficult social setting and moving to the most difficult.

8. Make a list of the negative experiences of being excluded as a child. Use EMDR to eliminate the negative feelings and self-perceptions related to these memories.

Treatment Suggestions for the Self–Sacrifice Schema

 1.Think about and recognize if you have an exaggerated perception of fragility and neediness in others.

2. Increase an awareness of your own needs by listing them. Think especially about your need for nurturance, understanding, protection, and guidance.

3. Evaluate if your relationships have an imbalance of “give and take”. Outside of reasonable caretaking situations, the balance should be approximately equal over time.

4. Experientially express sadness and anger about unmet emotional need using imagery. Confront those who deprived you.

5. Consider and assess if you were a “parentified child” caused by those in power putting adult demands on you in your childhood. Acknowledge the memories and feelings of the loss of childhood because of this. Use EMDR to decrease the negative feelings and self-perceptions related to these memories.

6. Use imagery to express anger toward people in your life who willfully deprived you and/or demanding too much from you.

7. Ask for what you need directly. Be careful to present yourself in a clear and strong way if that change is necessary for you.

8. Select partners and friends who are capable and giving rather than incapable or demanding. Set limits on how much you give to others.

9. Challenge yourself to occasionally be vulnerable with others rather than being the “strong one”.

10. Keep from rationalizing the tendency to please others so much.

Treatment Suggestions for the Pessimism and Worry Schema

1. Track and list of how infrequently your negative expectations come true.

2. Notice and list how often you have negative or pessimistic thinking. Ask a trusted friend or spouse to help with this list. Then practice looking objectively at your life and notice its positives.

3. As you stop exaggerating the negatives in your life and focus instead on the positives, notice how this change impacts how you feel.

4. If a past negative experience was within your control, problem solve how to correct the problem so it will not happen again.

5. Notice and experience that there is no basis for pessimism about a future event even if you have experienced uncontrollable negative events in the past.

6. Challenge the idea that it is okay to assume a pessimistic perspective about a future event, so you avoid being disappointed. Recognize that if you expect something to go wrong and it does go wrong then you do not necessarily feel better having worried about it. Also, recognize that if you expect something to go right and it goes wrong that you do not feel that much worse.

7. Notice that whatever you gain by anticipating negative outcomes does not outweigh the cost of living day to day with chronic worry and tension.

8. List the advantages and disadvantages of assuming the worst. Then experiment with both positions, observing how each position effects how you feel mood.

9. Have an imaginary dialogue between your negative pessimistic side and your positive optimistic side. Notice the benefits of taking a more positive stance toward life.

10. Watch yourself to see if you engage in unnecessary behaviors designed to prevent mistakes. Decrease those behaviors and notice how it impacts how you feel.

11. Challenge yourself to not complain. Have a friend or trusted spouse agree to confront you if you do complain.

12. Ask directly to get your needs met. Then assess if complaining is an indirect way to attempt to get your needs met.

13. Schedule activities just for fun. While doing these fun things notice that life is not about preventing “bad things” but is about getting “good things.

Treatment Suggestions for the Mistrust Schema

1.Recognize and list the times when you are too fearful and over vigilant to what you see as abuse.

2. Think about a full spectrum of trustworthiness of others. Using this thinking to guide you, consciously allow yourself to trust others when they deserve it.

3. Keep yourself from taking responsibility for things that are not your fault. Also, be sure to not make excuses for an abusive person’s behavior. Thoughtfully place blame where it belongs.

4. Learn proper assertion skills for appropriately venting anger and other strong, negative emotions.

5. Gradually learn to trust honest people. Act on this by sharing appropriate details about yourself and secrets and memories with a partner or friend.

6. Select non-abusive friends and partners. Also, keep from mistreating others and set limits with abusive people.

7. Be less punitive when other people make mistakes. When appropriate, actively try to be forgiving instead.

8. Slowly let other people get close to you. Begin with emotional and communicative closeness. Use learned assertion skills.

9. Keep yourself from gathering evidence and keeping score regarding the things people have done to hurt you.

10. Keep yourself from testing others to see if they can be trusted.

11. Do not take advantage of other people. This behavior will increase the likelihood that others will respond in kind.

12. List traumas that involved abuse to you. If it is too difficult to create a list, tell a therapist so he or she can make the list. Use EMDR to decrease the negative emotions and self-perceptions created by these memories.

Treatment Suggestions for the Insufficient Self-Control and Self-Discipline Schema

1.Do the “Stop-Think-Act” exercise. Do this by putting a thought between an impulse and the action. Think through the consequences of giving in to the impulse before acting it out.

2. Challenge yourself to have more self-discipline and self-control by actively changing your approach to completing the tasks listed.

Organizing your time, possessions, and finances.

Performing what seems like a boring task.

Being on time for commitments.

Imposing structure on things in your life that do not have enough structure.

Reasonably tolerating times of frustration.

Restraining emotions and impulses that feel excessive and cause poor behavior.

Begin by completing the tasks that are slightly difficult. Gradually challenge yourself to do these tasks for a longer amount of time. Then gradually increase the amount of time you can spend on the task until you are doing it for as long as you think you should.

3.Learn techniques that help you remain centered and able to control your emotions. Use time-outs, meditation, and relaxation exercises as ways to help you achieve this goal.

4. Make a list of the advantages of better controlling your emotions and structure. Also, make a list of the disadvantages of not being controlled or structured.

5. Use imagery to foresee the successful completion of self-control and organization. List how this imagery makes you feel.

Treatment Suggestions for the Failure Schema

1.Make a list of your skills. Following this, create a list of accomplishments that came from those skills. Use the knowledge of your accomplishments as rational evidence for your inherent abilities.

2. Set realistic long-term and short-term goals, follow through with these goals and to notice your accomplishments. Guard yourself from feeling overwhelmed and then risking possible failure by decreasing unrealistically high goal expectations.

3. Keep from getting angry at or disappointed with others for not recognizing and/or accepting your strengths and limitations.

4. Watch and end behaviors that surrender to, avoid, or overcompensate for this schema. Be adaptive and problem solve for your greatest reasonable success with each challenge to this schema.

5. Consider if your self-concept is a result of perpetuating the idea that you are a failure. If this is the case, then recognize that the failed behavior is not due to a lack in ability but can be attributed to your false perception that you are a failure.