Treatment Suggestions for the Dependence and Incompetence Schema
1.List everyday tasks, situations, responsibilities, and decisions for which you depend on other people.
2. List challenges, changes, or phobias that you have avoided because you are afraid of them.
3. Systemically force yourself to tackle everyday tasks and decisions without asking for help. Take on challenges or make changes you have been avoiding. Start with easy tasks first.
4. Decrease the idea that you need constant assistance from others to function.
5. Increase independence by problem solving and making decisions on your own. Take credit for your accomplishments and do not quit if you fail at something.
6. Challenge the view that depending on others is a desirable way to live by listing how this dependency can negatively impact your life.
7. Recognize that excessive dependence on others has a cost of limited self-expression. List ways that limited self-expression could harm your life.
8. Learn relaxation, meditation, or other anxiety-reducing techniques during times of stress that comes with attempts at independence.
9. Confront family members who encourage your dependent behaviors. Also, keep from complaining if your partner or boss refuses to help you enough.
10. Create a list of behaviors that gradually lead to more independence. Complete the list while doing relaxation techniques.
11. Use EMDR to reprocess negative experiences when a parent was overprotective. Also, use EMDR to deal with current day “failures” leading to independence.